Get Back in Charge!

If you don't define yourself for yourself, you will be squeezed into other people’s reality of you and eaten alive.
—Audre Lorde


Looking over my past few newsletters, I realized that I've been writing a lot about the troubling times we find ourselves in. The faltering economy. The real estate crisis. Record unemployment. All serious problems to be sure. So serious that it would be disingenuous to ignore them.

That said, none of these troubles are reason to put ourselves in a holding pattern or -- even worse -- regress to survival mode. And -- as regular readers know -- the brain is very good at convincing us to tune out hopes and dreams and focus on survival, if that’s what we are telling it to do!


The truth is, we’ve all faced difficult times in the past and we will all face them again. The trick is not to lose ourselves in the chaos of the moment, but to acknowledge the chaos we are experiencing, re-state the facts of our situation—don’t get lost in the story we are prone to tell—be proactive and, as many self-help gurus argue, “create our own reality.” It’s not easy, it does take practice, but those who succeed will reap the rewards of happier, healthier, and more creative lives.

For instance, I am well aware that the U.S. publishing industry is one of the most troubled sectors in business today. Still, I just released my newest book, “Back in Charge!” Sure, I could have shelved it until we saw more prosperous times, but I wanted to move forward in a proactive way.

I’m focusing not on all the reasons I shouldn’t be releasing a book today, but on the many, many reasons that there has never been a better time for this particular work. Case in point, an early chapter of “Back in Charge!” focuses on how anyone can -- like I did -- look beyond the negative and create a positive reality.

The first step is in realizing that we -- as conditioned human beings -- generally see what we expect to see For instance, if you are convinced that your boss is critical of your every move, you may be disturbed when she asks the simple question, “What time did you get in this morning?”
Immediately, your mind races. She’s not pleased with my performance. She thinks I am lazy. She’s always looks for the worst in me. Can I do anything right?

Sound familiar? Now think about the exchange. Your boss didn’t say anything disapproving, but the comment became negative in your mind because of your preconceptions. That’s the way the conditioning of our brains works, and it extends far beyond our perceptions of friends, family and colleagues. If you decide, for instance, that you will fail to achieve a goal or that you’ll fail to find a job that pays as well as the last one whether because of the economy, a lack of confidence, or whatever, be assured that your brain will help you fail.

What’s the solution? For starters, try this exercise from “Back in Charge!”

Make a list of things you desire that have always seemed out of reach. Now, pick the most inspiring one and instead of focusing on the negative, think about some of the reasons you might succeed. For instance, reference someone similar to you who has already achieved what you’re aiming for. You may not immediately convince yourself that the goals are achievable, but the more you focus on the reasons you can succeed, the closer you’ll come to actually doing it.

This is just one short exercise from “Back in Charge!” The 143-page book contains many, many more, each designed to teach you about your brain and the methods you can use to unlock its wonderful potential. Included with the book are two CDs packed with companion experiential exercises, so you can take what you learn and put it into practice in the car, at the gym or wherever you travel.

In these difficult and challenging times, let’s get “Back in Charge!”

Wishing you focus, fitness, & flexibility in mind and body.

I love this quote of William James, America's first psychologist.

“The world we see that seems so insane is the result of a belief system that is not working. To perceive the world differently, we must be willing to change our belief system, let the past slip away, expand our sense of now, and dissolve the fear in our minds."

You can become your own conditioner. You can get your brain supporting all you want to be and do and have. It's up to you!

Snap Out Of It Now! With Dr. Adrianne Ahern

Depends on the Question

"Ask the right questions if you're to find the right answers."
Vanessa Redgrave

So many of us are focused on the economy and how it affects us personally, and those we love. We're all looking for answers. But, after presenting the first Get Back in Charge! workshop early this month, it occurred to me that what we really need to be seeking for ourselves is the right questions.

Once we take some deep breaths, release our anxiety and unplug from some of our negative conditioning, we discover that our brains have unlimited capacity to find positive solutions for us. But our brains will only respond to the questions we pose to them. If we ask ourselves, "How can I scrape by this month?" or "What will happen to me if I lose my house?” our brains focus on helping us only "scrape by" and remain in the cycle of worry and fear. But what if we ask, "How can I use this period, not only get by, but to create a new, more fulfilling life for myself?" Can you feel the difference?

I ran into this difference for myself several weeks ago. I had been stressing over various aspects of my business and asking questions like: How can I make this more profitable? How can I get to the levels of success others have achieved? What should I do if my public television show/new book/speaking career lose momentum? How can I get faster results? My brain offered plenty of answers to these questions – all of which added to my stress!

Finally in the middle of another anxious night, it came to me: The only question I needed to ask was "How can I serve others?" As soon as I heard that question, I felt a flood of relief. My brain offered up wonderful images of ways I had, could, and would serve others. I realized that all of the prior questions I had been asking were blocking me from seeing and experiencing what was really possible for me -- and what was really important to me. Those questions came from my fears, not from who I truly am. Now, when I focus my brain on that one question – How can I serve others? -- I feel calm, energized, creative and inspired.

So what questions have you been posing to your brain? Are they questions rooted in fear or from the best part of yourself? Are they small questions that assume small outcomes? Or are they the questions that tap the yearnings of your soul? Whichever questions you ask, your brain will not know the difference. It will offer up answers to whatever you ask of it. So choose wisely.

The participants of our first
Get Back in Charge! workshop took the first steps to asking bigger questions by working with old, negative conditioning and unearthing new possibilities for themselves. Some of their comments:

"I learned that I can choose my thoughts and beliefs. The only important question is 'Does it serve me?'" -Lynne

"I left feeling more compassion for the part of me that bought into false truths. I can choose something different." -Wanda

"I became aware of how much fear had shaped my perceptions. That if you think a situation is not resolvable, it isn't!" -Blair

We still have some openings for the San Diego Get Back in Charge! workshop on April 21st. If you have been negatively affected by the present economy, please join us. And please let friends and family who might benefit from this workshop know about it as well.
To register, go to www.GetBackInCharge.com

Book Launch Promotion - Take Advantage Today!

I know you are always being offered new books to enhance your life. My friend, Mike Robbins, is releasing a new book that I believe you will find valuable.

In his book, Be Yourself, Everyone Else is Already Taken, Mike teaches us simple yet powerful ways to be authentic in our relationships, our work, and our lives – thus leading to greater peace, passion, and fulfillment. He discusses how, "most of us aren't taught by our families or the culture in which we live to be ourselves and be authentic." His five principles of authenticity will empower you to be bold, to express yourself fully, and to live your life from a deep place of authenticity within you.

When you order Mike's book today, you will receive exclusive bonus gifts and recordings from authors that I respect like Michael Beckwith, Gay and Kathlyn Hendricks, Jack Canfield, Marci Shimoff, Mark Victor Hansen and many others. You will also receive, from me, an ebook and MP3 of my program, "Unlock Your Potential." More information and to order…


Wishing you focus, fitness, & flexibility in mind and body.
Adrianne


P.S. I can't resist offering a few more quotes I found about questions!

"In order for answers to become clear, the questions have to be clear."
Abdolkarim Soroush

"Judge a man by his questions rather than his answers."
Voltaire

"Questions structure and, so, to some extent predetermine answers."
A.R. Ammons

"Successful people ask better questions, and as a result, they get better answers."
Tony Robbins