What is your Mohini?


Where in life do you feel “imprisoned” or are you “settling” for less than you really desire?  
Listen to Dr. Adrianne Ahern as she shows her audience, at Congregation Beth Israel in La Jolla, CA,
how to identify who you are AND who you are not!  Register online at Congregation Beth Israel of San Diego. 

Event Details:

Keynote:  Who Am I Now with Dr. Adrianne Ahern Date: TODAY, Thursday, November 19, 2009 Where: 9001 Towne Centre Drive, San Diego, CA 92122 Time: 1:30 pm

Times are tough.  Things are changing and often we feel as if the sand is shifting under our feet and everything feels unstable. Most of us are resistant to change. Join me at Warwick’s Bookstore in La Jolla, CA on October 14th at 7:30pm and I will explain why that’s so.

I have been home from Hawaii a week now, and as promised will share one of my new tools I learned from Dr. George Pratt during the Power of Energy V Seminar.   You all know how central to the effectiveness of the Snap Out Of It NOW! processes that belly breathing is, now here is a tool that can instantly bring you to a state of relaxed focus wherever you may find yourself!  The tool is called, Balanced Breathing -- you'll find yourself feeling centered and balanced and ready for any challenges you face. 

Sitting in a comfortable position:

1. Cross your left ankle over your right ankle.  
2. Extend both arms straight out in front of you.
3. Cross your right arm over your left arm at the wrist.
   
4. Rotate the palms of your hands so that they are facing and interlock your fingers.
5. Rotate your hands down toward your stomach.
6. Continue rotating inward so that you bring your hands up close to your chest.  At this point you have crossed the center line of your body with your hands, arms, and legs.

Note:  If it is more comfortable for you, you can reverse the order--right ankle over left, left wrist over right.  It doesn't make a difference, as long as they are opposite.

Once in the proper position, inhale through your nose while touching the tip of your tongue to the roof of your mouth.  Exhale through your mouth, resting your tongue on the floor of your mouth.  (Do this for 2-minutes)

Focus your thoughts on the concept of balance.  It might be the idea of the balance of mind and body or just the word "balance." At the same time picture in your mind, if you can, an image that represents balance.  This could be the image of a scale, or a seesaw, or standing on one foot.  Throughout the two-minute process, breathe comfortably.  Don't worry it you are not always able to hold the thought or image; come back to it if you drift away.


The above is taken verbatim from Dr. Pratt's book, Instant Emotional Healing, (page 254)

On the beach at Kohala Coast Fairmont Orchid on the first day of the
Energy Psychology Seminar with Dr. George Pratt. In the photo, Dr. Pratt is muscle testing my new friend Joanne, after clearing an old negative pattern from her childhood that has been blocking her for years. Amazing stuff!

What is Energy Psychology?

Essentially, it is an emerging area of
psychology where anceint wisdom meets modern science. The work of Dr. George Pratt is an exciting blend of Cognitive Psychology and
Acupuncture. It offers an effective and efficient way to clear
anything off our brain's hardwiring that no longer serves us--e.g.,
those persisting negative thoughts & emotions that are the saboteur of
our goals. AND, this is why I am here -- to incorporate these
seemingly "too good to be true" new and effective tools into my Snap
Out Of It NOW! processes! I want to make it as easy and effortless as
possible for my clients to cleanse the old conditioning that no longer
serves them in order to wire in more positive and empowering thoughts,
beliefs, and feelings that support all they want to do, be, and have
in life.

Stay tuned! Today, I swim with the magnificent spinner dolphins of
Hawaii, who I anticipate may be my greatest teachers.
With an open heart,
Adrianne

"Anyone can become angry--that is easy.  But to be angry with the right person, to the right degree, and at the right time, and for the right purpose, and in the right way--that is not easy."  -- Aristotle

My friend and colleague, Dr. George Pratt, writes in his book, "Instant Emotional Healing" (Broadway Books, 2000) that there are "no bad emotions."  (I really recommend you pick this book up on Amazon.)

I quote directly from the book: "There is no such thing as a wrong emotion, only the wrong amount of the emotion at the wrong time. ... Even emotions we tend to think of as "negative" serve natural and useful regulating roles in our overall functioning: Frustration, impatience, disgust, and anger can spur us into productive action.  Anxiety and irritability let us know when we've been pushing too hard and can remind us to slow down and relax.  Loneliness can lead us to a deeper understanding of ourselves.  Grief helps us heal from loss.  Guilt keeps us honest. ..."

I really like the way George and his co-author Peter Lambrou guide the reader toward heightened levels of self-awareness, assisting him/her in seeing that when they are aware of the "negativity" within, they instantly have the power to use it to their benefit.  And, if the negative emotion is no longer serving them, he shows the reader how to release it from their system entirely!

How many of you saw the moon-walking bear the first time through?
How does that relate to us right now? Well, if you’re conditioned to focus on how bad the economy is, how many businesses have closed in your industry, how many other people have lost money…well, that's what you are going to see. Your brain will not let you see the moon-walking bear or that unusual opportunity or that potential solution to your situation. But if you re-wire your brain—your internal authority—to start looking for the moon-walking bear, your brain will let you see it.  
Start confronting the limiting beliefs and attitudes that are holding you back from achieving all you want to have, do, and be in life!

Science has figured out that repeated thoughts actually carve neuro-pathways into the brain. The thought becomes hard-wired into your brain. And when a thought is carved in like that, it doesn't just affect your thinking. It affects your entire physiology.  

For more info, call your local Public Television Station (click the link under the video monitor) and ask them about "Snap Out Of It NOW! with Dr. Adrianne Ahern."

I will be doing a radio interview tomorrow morning with “The Coaching Show with Christopher McAuliffe.” Find out more and listen to archives from the show.

As I think about the interview, I think about the most often asked question I get these days – about why I claim that affirmations, goal setting and positive thinking do not work?

I often get heat from clients when I say that repeating affirmations is a self-improvement tool that doesn’t work!   This is NOT because I believe affirmations and positive thinking can not be powerful tools in manifesting our dreams.  It is because I know that unless we acknowledge and release our underlying negative thought or belief that is currently directing our entire system – brain, heart-rate, perceptions, behavioral reactions, blood pressure, breathing, etc… -- we will continue fighting ourselves:  “I have all that it takes to be successful” vs. “I’m doomed to fail!”

There are ways, however, to make affirmative statements effective. But just plopping a happy, fluffy, shiny thought over grimy, nasty, negative one does not work.  The way to make affirmations effective is to unearth the negative belief that’s fighting it before attempting to rewire yourself with a new truth that you want to start living by.

Here is the way to make those affirmations start working for you!  

1) Acknowledge the negative thought

2) Breathe with attention directed toward the feeling.  Experience how that thought makes you feel—whether the feeling is physical (tight neck, jittery stomach) or emotional (frustrated, angry, panicy),

3) Cleanse that negative thought and it’s associated feeling from your brain and physiology. Breathe in – acknowledge the thought and its associated feeling.  Breathe out – release it from your system.

4) Rewire in a new truth that you want to start living your life by. 

Using these 4 steps you are paving the way for your affirmation to take root and start supporting all you want to have, do, or be.

Feeling depressed, overwhelmed, frustrated, stressed out?  

Here's the a solution – Snap Out of It NOW!®. I will be in-studio at KPBS-TV on Saturday evening--that's tomorrow night!---answering questions about my new American Public Television special. 

Tune in Saturday August 8 at 7 p.m. on KPBS TV, San Diego Channel 11, to learn how you can get your efforts at self-improvement to start working for you, and unleash your maximum potential. 

I am pleased to announce the opening of my therapy private practice’s new location in the Carmel Valley area of San Diego, CA. Click "play" on the image above and it will let you cruise around my office. You can even zoom in to check out the books I read and the artwork on the wall. 


I will be offering both in-person and telephone consultations (including via SKYPE). So now, no matter where you live, you can make an appointment and begin working with me on breaking free from negative conditioning NOW!  


To schedule an appointment, please call my office in San Diego, California at 858.764.2422 or toll-free at 1.800.753.1417.

Please remember to watch "Snap Out Of It NOW!" if you live in the San Diego area, and if not, please share this info with family and friends who do!

Learn how to make your efforts at self-improvement start working for you! Snap Out Of It NOW! puts you back in the driver's seat, gives you the tools you need to face challenges with confidence, and provides the key to unlocking and rewiring the brain so you control it instead of it controlling you.

Be sure to watch on August 8 at 7p.m. on KPBS-TV! 

Call in (Toll-free: (888) 399-5727) or go online and make a pledge to support KPBS, and make sure to reference "Snap Out Of It NOW!"

Show details:

Event: KPBS TV Special, "Snap Out Of It NOW! with Dr. Adrianne Ahern" "Face it or get chased by it!"
Date/Time: Saturday, August 8 at 7:00pm
Where: KPBS-TV Channel 11 for cable , but please check your local listing

Want to watch clips from this Show?  Click here!


Wishing you focus, fitness, and flexibility in body and mind,

 

The power of the brain has much more effect on our health, wealth, and general well-being than any external circumstance. Most of us have it backwards because we haven't understood how the brain works – and how we can consciously re-wire it to support our goals.

So many of us have been hit hard by this economy, and we are doing all we know to do to keep afloat and repair the damage to our lives. But all of our activity will be fruitless unless we get our brains on board.

The intrinsic power of our brains holds the key to surviving and thriving during these difficult times—not outside forces.

Though it's great to understand how the brain works, just understanding the science of the brain won't change your life. During my KPBS-TV Special on Saturday, August 8th at 7pm, I will show you how to apply this science through simple and practical tools designed to:

    * Reduce stress and relieve anxiety related to financial and career issues

    * Re-wire neuropathways that hold limiting or counter-productive beliefs regarding money, occupation, what is possible and impossible

    * Enhance creative problem-solving mechanisms and tap intrinsic wisdom to address current challenges

    * Reclaim our identity as strong, capable, and resilient

I decided that to support Public Television and my pledge special I needed to do my best to spread the word and boost viewing numbers for the KPBS special on August 8th at 7pm.  To do this, I thought a flyer would be good to distribute at the talks I'll be giving over the next few weeks.  Also, I could post the flyer in various public places around town. Actually, my friend who owns the Pannikin Retail Store on Girard in La Jolla triggered the idea for this!


Having just returned to San Diego, I didn't have the resources I had in Nevada and I knew I didn't have much time to get this done.  So I contacted KPBS to ask them for suggestions and after a series of emails I ended up with a terrific company named EyeMotive (contact info below).  I love their work, their efficiency and their professionalism.  And, I love the flyer! What do you think?

Scott is a delight to work with and I highly recommend giving him a call should you need a graphic designer.  

Scott Birdsall

Creative Director

Eyemotive

949-645-4536

scott@eyemotive.com

www.eyemotive.com

From distracted frenzy to focused relaxation!

I want to share something that I experienced today that was very exciting and had a particularly grounding effect on me.  I met with my friend and colleague, Dr. George Pratt, at his private practice office in La Jolla, CA (on the Scripps Memorial Hospital La Jolla Campus).  George, knowing that I just moved my home and office from Reno, NV to Del Mar, CA, suggested that I might benefit from a few energy techniques that he writes about in his book, "Instant Emotional Healing."   I eagerly accepted his offer and we spent the next 20 minutes doing some deep breathing, some unique movements with my hands, and some muscle testing.  I came into his office feeling pressured and tense due to the hectic schedule triggered by my desire to get settled "FAST," -- and I left feeling confidant, focused and relaxed.  Not surprisingly, I moved through my day feeling focused and filled with a sense of calm.

I want to recommend George's book to you if you are feeling overwhelmed, stressed, anxious or doubtful, fearful, and not living to your fullest potential -- or maybe your experiencing a transition that is setting off feelings of frustration and irritability.   Pick up a copy and let me know what you think!

To carve a new neuropathway into your brain, a  new thought pattern that will serve you and your purpose, you’ll want to use your imagination.

Here’s the important point to remember: your brain can't tell the difference between an experience that actually happens and one that is imagined.

So, the brain will be as responsive to a good visualization as it is to something that actually happens. For instance, when athletes visualize a race or a golf round or an event to train for peak performance, their physiological response is measurable and looks just like it does when they are actually performing. The brain sends out the very same signals to the body's systems as it would in the "real life" situation. 

Now, when we were kids most of us were pretty good imaginers. We would pretend to be heroes or mommies or world-famous musicians. And when we pretended, we got all of our senses involved: we walked like a pirate and felt brave and fearless. We could smell the briny sea and hear the ocean waves, right? This is the kind of imagining or visualization that your brain will respond to.

So, when carving a new neuropathway into your brain, you’ll want to get all your senses involved and use the power of your imagination to create the reality you want!

It doesn’t matter whether the direction or information your brain is given is TRUE or FALSE: your brain is totally obedient and activates all of your physical systems –your visual perception, your heart rate, your glands, your hearing, your emotions -- to act according to that direction or belief.

Your brain responds to external direction, but more importantly, your brain responds to your internal direction or beliefs. This internal authority will always over-ride the external. So for instance, if I tell you a puzzle is impossible, but your internal authority says, "Hey, I'm terrific at puzzles. I'll ace these!" that's the direction that your brain will follow. If I tell you that the puzzles are easy but your internal authority says that you are hopeless at puzzles, your brain will still respond as if they are difficult. This internal authority, these internal beliefs, whether you are aware of them or not, and whether they are true or not, run your life. These are your internal conditioned beliefs or your conditioning. It's this conditioning, this internal authority, that you need to re-wire in order to create the life you'll love!

Now, some of our conditioning is appropriate for certain times but destructive in others. Think about an automatic sprinkler system. It works great when all the settings are right. It just does its thing without your attention. But what if its settings are for winter: no water, 7 days a week? Great, during winter. Maybe even okay for spring. But once it hits summer, your sprinkler's settings are no longer so great. Unless you can re-set your sprinkler to deal with its new circumstance, your lawn is lost!

The conditioned beliefs you have had about career and finances may have been fine for normal economic times. "I'm not smart enough to start my own business" was okay back then. "This is the only career I'll ever be good at." Or "My broker will watch out for my interests" or "I could never live in a house with roommates" was okay back then. But circumstances have changed -- dramatically. It's summer. You may need to change your conditioned settings.

The good news is that we can consciously condition our brains to operate in directions we choose – to change its settings now that it’s summer.  

If this makes sense to you check out my new book “Back in Charge!” 

I just received the below email from a Joe Parks, a subscriber to the Snap Out Of It NOW! e-newsletter.  FYI -- If you want to post a message on my blog, you need to have a google (gmail.com) or yahoo.com email account.

Message from Joe:

OOps. No Google acct yet. This is the comment I was going to add to your post about your move to San Diego.

Congrats on your move. I recently reread an earlier email of yours. Remarkably, a day or two earlier, I heard a similar message in different words when I was watching the tennis at Wimbledon. During a tennis-tip minute or some such thing, a coach pointed out that getting angry or sad after a bad sequence wasn't going to help a player. Furthermore, if the player tried to hide his anger or sadness, doing so would be completely unhelpful. Rather, the player had to find or develop something positive on which to focus. Otherwise, he was on the way to playing poorly because of his negative frame of mind.

All the best,

Joe Parks

Just finished an excellent discussion on 'Generosity & Passion" with Jordan Mercedes on her BlogTalk Radio Show, Thrive In Balance. Jordan is a fantastic host and the experience was amazing for me. She is tackling important issues and providing an excellent forum for such discussions. Listen to Jordan and me talk about my new book, "Back in Charge!" and how to move through the resistances that keep us from living our passion.

“We are betrayed by what is false within.”
George Meredith

My newsletter is a bit late as I have been engrossed in my Public Television project. I’m very excited about it! And, I’m pleased to share that we’ve had tremendous response so our audience for the filming on Sept 7th is completely full! I’ll let you know when it airs.
In the meantime, I want to share the steps from the segment I’m working on right now: cleansing old negative conditioning. This step is often overlooked. But if you don’t cleanse or at least soften your strong negative belief, you’ll struggle with any new, positive beliefs you try to introduce to your brain.

Here are the steps:

1. What do you want?
What do you really want that you’ve struggled with? Maybe you want to feel more confident socially or take the risk to move from your role of wife and mom to begin a new career. Maybe you want to be healthier or make more money. Maybe you want to heal certain relationships. Take a moment and name it for yourself.

2. Acknowledge the negative message getting in your way.
What is the belief that is in the way? Maybe you feel incapable or that you don’t have enough time to do what you want. You’re too old, too weak, too stupid, too shy. What is your brain saying about it? Whatever it is for you, bring that message up now.

3. Identify the feelings and emotions holding the message in place.
As you think about that message, be aware of how it feels in your body and emotions. You might feel a tight jaw or jittery stomach. You might feel panicked or angry or overwhelmed. You might just feel stuck. Whatever the negative conditioning is, don’t resist it. Just be aware of it and feel it.

4. Breathe – feel and release the negative message and its emotion.
Breathe deeply. Acknowledge your negative thought and feeling on the inhale and release it on the exhale. For instance, inhale and acknowledge “I feel inadequate,” feeling that sense of hopelessness, then exhale and release the thought, “I feel inadequate,” and release the sense of hopelessness with whatever physical sensations accompany it. Whatever the particular message and emotions are for you, inhale and feel … then exhale and release.

5. Visualize your breath cleansing all thought and feeling
Imagine your breath washing through you, cleansing all negative thought and feeling. Continue to breathe until you feel a shift in your feelings.

The process described above will help remove that old negative belief from your brain and your physiology. The feeling—sadness, hopelessness, anger, etc — that is tied to your message is carving the negative belief more deeply into your brain. The belief and its feeling (your body’s experience of the belief) must be brought to awareness and experienced before it can be released.

Cleansing the old conditioned pathway is powerful in itself, though you do want to insert a new positive belief as well. But please understand that only practice makes permanent. In other words, the power of this process is not in doing it once, but doing it frequently until you’ve actually carved a new neuro-pathway into your brain. Use it several times per day until it becomes natural to you. That’s when you’ll get real traction toward what you want.
Wishing you focus, fitness and flexibility in mind and body,

“People often say that ‘beauty is in the eye of the beholder,’ and I say that the most liberating thing about beauty is realizing that you are the beholder. This empowers us to find beauty in places where others have not dared to look, including inside ourselves.” — Salma Hayek

Dear friends,

I recently returned from 15 days in the San Juan Islands, off the coast of Seattle. Spring was just arriving – a little later than usual – and tulips as long as your arm with leaves as big as your hand covered the island in wondrous colors. While hiking up mountain paths, we relished the sight of wild flowers and fresh new growth on pine trees and bushes as bird songs delighted our ears. Walking along shorelines with two enthusiastic canine companions who ran in and out of the surf, we discovered starfish in hues I’d never seen before: purples, oranges, pinks.

Home now, I thought of that experience again as I sat drinking my morning coffee gazing at colorful spring blossoms under a crystal blue Nevada sky. And it occurred to me how precious the appreciation of beauty is. In some very essential, inexplicable way, it balances us, brings us back to ourselves, gives us the sense that “all is right with the world” and a feeling of connectedness.

In our multi-tasking world, our senses are overwhelmed and our experience numbed. We often feel disconnected from one another and even from ourselves. Beauty has the uncanny ability to draw us into fully experiencing the preciousness of that moment. And all it takes from us is a momentary pause to drink it in.

Beauty takes many forms: poignant music, wonderful art, the smile of a loved one, the filigree of a spider’s web. As Confucius said, “Everything has its beauty but not everyone can see it.” With our heads down and noses to the grindstone, we are often blind to the beauty that surrounds us. Yet when I remember to stop and appreciate the beauty that is all around me, my heart fills and all of my senses seem to come alive again. Whether for a few seconds or a few hours, being with beauty refreshes me and revives my feeling of connection to my true self, others, and the universe.

So I invite you to join me on a “beauty quest” over the next few weeks, a quest to discover and appreciate beauty wherever we are: a sparkle of dust on a window sill, vibrant colors of a sunset, the joyful wag of a pet’s tail, the gentle touch of your lover’s hand. Join me in taking a moment to drink these beautiful experiences in.

While in the San Juans, we discovered some wonderful local poets who published their poetry in local presses. I found a book by Susan Chamberlayne titled As I Breathe – Poetry of Nature. This poem, Letting Go, is one of her poems:

I hear your breath
Inflate the world.
Then sigh release of it.

All’s just that simple! Enjoy your Beauty Quest!

I’d love to hear about your experience with it.

Adrianne Ahern, Ph.D.
Performance Consultant, Keynote Speaker, and author of Snap Out Of It Now!
P.S. If you find value in this newsletter and wish to share it with others, please do so! I only request that you forward it in its entirety.
P.P.S. For further tools, information and upcoming appearances, please visit my “evolving” website! http://www.snapoutofitnow.com/

“Too many of us wait to do the perfect thing, with the result we do nothing. The way to get ahead is to start now. While many of us are waiting until conditions are “just right” before we go ahead, others are stumbling along, fortunately ignorant of the dangers that beset them. By the time we are, in our superior wisdom, decided to make a start, we discover that those who have gone fearlessly on before, have, in their blundering way, traveled a considerable distance. If you start now, you will know a lot next year that you don’t know now, and that you will not know next year, if you wait.” –William Feather

Dear friends,

Would you like to join me in a little mental/emotional Spring housecleaning?

I ran across William Feather’s quote and started thinking about “being stuck.” Most of us have experienced the feeling. Though we really want to change something in our lives, we just can’t seem to get moving on it. Can you relate? Often, our “stuckness” sounds something like this:

…I know I should _______ but I can’t __________
…If only______, then I would ________
…It’s not my fault that__________
…I wish I could _______ but I can’t because __________

When we fill in the blanks, it may sound perfectly reasonable that we can’t move forward toward what we desire. “I know I should lose weight, but I can’t because I have to entertain clients constantly.” “If only I had an advanced degree, then I would apply for that position.” “It’s not my fault that the economy is in the tank so my finances are a mess.” “I wish I could find a relationship but I can’t because my job demands all of my time.” Most of us can find excellent justifications for our inability to move forward.

But the excuses we use to keep ourselves stuck are rarely valid. For every person who avoids going to business school because she’s “not good with numbers,” there is someone who flunked Math 101 but still managed to earn an MBA. For every person who is “not attractive enough to find a mate,” there are plenty of people much less attractive who have fun and satisfying love lives. For every would-be actor/singer/musician who never auditioned “because he wasn’t talented enough,” there are several others with much less talent who are performing regularly.

So what’s the difference? Is it lack of will or courage? Usually not. Usually the inability to get started on something you really desire stems from an unconscious conditioned thought that sabotages your best intentions. Until that thought is brought to light and uprooted, every time you think about what you want – that exciting career, healthier body, or new relationship – you’ll find invisible shackles pulling you down and slowing your progress.

But how to unearth the unconscious thought that is keeping you stuck? Try this exercise and see what pops up:

Think about the thing you desire. Now imagine taking action toward it. What excuses come up? What do you feel you need to do or be or have before you can start toward your desire?
What is the statement and feeling underneath the excuse? In other words, if you feel that you can’t start dating until you’ve lost some weight, the underlying statement might be “no one will love me because I am flawed” and the underlying feeling might be fear of rejection.
Try to remember the very first time you heard your underlying statement. For instance, when was the first time you decided (or were told) that you were not smart enough or strong enough to do something?

Clear the underlying negative message by breathing with it. Breathe in and allow yourself to feel the negative statement. Breathe out and feel yourself releasing the negative message.
Breathing is key to much of the work I do with people and is a critical component for re-wiring the brain. So I’d like to teach you how to breathe properly for full benefit. Here is a link to a 12-minute instructional audio – Breathing Instructions — that explains more specifically how to breathe and another link to 5 Magic Minutes, a guided breathing exercise that you can download to your computer or iPod – 5 Magic Minutes . It’s a tool that can literally improve your health, calm your stress, and increase your mental clarity within five minutes. Try it out for yourself and let me know how it works for you!

Wishing you focus, fitness and flexibility in body and mind!

Adrianne Ahern, Ph.D.
Performance Consultant, Keynote Speaker, and author of Snap Out Of It Now!
P.S. If you find value in this newsletter and wish to share it with others, please do so! I only request that you forward it in its entirety.
P.P.S. For further tools, information and upcoming appearances, please visit my “evolving” website! http://www.snapoutofitnow.com/

“Listen, are you breathing just a little, and calling it a life? ”
–Mary Oliver

Dear Friends,

Spring has sprung in many parts of the country. And as more of us pop our heads out of winter hibernation, it feels great to enjoy the sunshine, warmth, and fresh air (for those of you who don’t have this wonderful weather yet, it will find you soon!) As I take a deep breath, inhaling Spring’s sweet scents, I am reminded of the power of proper breathing. (In fact, I’m devoting an entire chapter to breathing in the book I’m currently writing.)

Two monks, master and student, walked along a path, returning to their monastery after several hours of meditating high in the Himalayan Mountains. The student complained to his master, saying, “Breathing is so boring!” Without a word, the master grabbed his student by the neck, pulled him over to a nearby stream, and plunged the student’s head beneath the rushing water. He kept him under water for several seconds, as the student kicked and squirmed. Finally, the master yanked his student’s head above the surface and asked, “Now, what do you have to say about ‘breathing’?”

Volumes of research about breathing have been published. Briefly, some recent findings:
Dr. David Anderson, head of research into behavior and hypertension at the NIH’s National Institute on Aging, suggests that breathing less than 10 breaths per minute for a few minutes a few times a day is enough to help some people bump down high blood pressure.
Breathing is responsible for 70% of the elimination of toxins from our bodies.

Stress releases large amounts of cortisol and adrenaline. Deep belly breathing has been found to be the most effective and efficient way to activate the parasympathetic system – the relaxation response.

Dr. Andrew Weil claims that “Improper breathing is a common cause of ill health” and that learning to breathe effectively can improve your healing with diseases such as heart attacks, cancer, strokes, pneumonia, and asthma. It’s one of the simplest changes you can make to improve your overall health and well-being. Given that, would you be interested in learning to breathe properly? Belly breathing – the breathing you see in small children and that you may feel in yourself as you relax into sleep — is the goal.

Try the following exercise:

Without consciously changing how you breathe, place one hand on your chest and one hand over your belly button. Notice which hand moves more as you breathe. If you are belly breathing, the hand on your belly will rise as you inhale and fall as you exhale. If you are chest breathing, you may find the opposite to be true.

Now relax your belly. To the count of four, inhale and allow your belly to expand. Exhale to the count of six, allowing your belly to collapse without tensing it. Pause for one beat and repeat the slow inhale/exhale process for several minutes.

How do you feel? Many people notice an immediate difference and sense of well-being from just a few moments of proper breathing. But whether you notice this or not, your body will be very grateful for the delicious deep breath you’ve just given it!

Wishing you focus, fitness and flexibility in body and mind!

Adrianne Ahern, Ph.D.
Performance Consultant, Keynote Speaker, and author of Snap Out Of It Now!
P.S. If you find value in this blog and wish to share it with others, please do so!

“Every novel is an equal collaboration between the writer and the reader and it is the only place in the world where two strangers can meet on terms of absolute intimacy.”
–Paul Auster

Dear Friends,

Obviously, I’m not a novelist (yet!) so this may seem like a strange way to begin this month’s newsletter. But I’ve been thinking about Valentine’s Day and that it is so much more than a romantic holiday. It can be a time when we remember all the people in our lives who have touched us, loved and appreciated us. Isn’t it wonderful to think of those people and remember special times or gestures? The note sent “just because I’m thinking of you.” The sincere appreciation of a co-worker for something you’ve done. The special smile when you pick your child up from daycare.

The interesting thing about being a “public” person and an author is that I have the privilege of touching people I’ve never met. It’s an “absolute intimacy” between two strangers. And I often receive wonderful, heartfelt notes of appreciation from them. They say “How is it that you know JUST what to write in your newsletters at the time I need those words. . .” or “You have no idea how much you helped me before my spinal fusion” or “I think you’ve got a cool message!” Of course, every time I receive one of these, my DHEA (the Vitality hormone) goes off the charts!

But what about those of us who are not “public?” Do we have any idea how we might have touched strangers around us? We may never receive sweet notes of appreciation (they don’t know where to find us!), but we can (and do) certainly touch those strangers around us: when we compliment the grocery clerk’s hair, or pause and let the car trying to merge into traffic ahead of us, or hold the door open for the guy carrying all the packages. Every time we do one of these small things, especially if it is done with a sincere smile and open heart, we have truly touched someone. It is a moment of “absolute intimacy.”

So here’s what I would like you to do:

Every time you do a small kindness for someone you do not know, imagine receiving a wonderful note of appreciation from them. “Thank you so much for noticing my new tie. I wasn’t sure if I liked it but now it feels great. . .” or “Thanks for pushing the elevator button for me. I’d had a rough day and your kindness made me feel better. . .” or “Thanks for picking up the change that dropped out of my purse. My back has been achy lately so I was very grateful. . .”

I’ll end this month’s newsletter with a quote from one of the special notes I’ve received recently: “. . .In the event that perhaps one day you are overwhelmed with the consequences of whatever you have created (and thus experience), I just want you to know that there is someone you have touched deeply and whose gratitude is immeasurable.”

And that, my friends, is how I feel about you. Happy St. Valentine’s Day!

Adrianne Ahern, Ph.D.
Performance Consultant, Keynote Speaker, and author of Snap Out Of It Now!
P.S. If you find value in this blog and wish to share it with others, please do so!

We’re barely into the New Year, yet how many of us have already abandoned our New Year’s resolutions?

Dear Friend,

I have worked with many people over the years, and have struggled myself, to begin and sustain an exercise program or follow through on other healthy goals. We know that it’s good for us and we yearn to experience the sense of accomplishment we know we’ll feel — if we could only stick to it.

Year after year, we hear great ideas—for exercise programs, making more money, for better relationships and better sex. And year after year, the same great ideas are offered again. Why? Because most of us never followed through on them in the first place.

If the desire for change is there and these ideas are good ones, why would we not follow through?

Because until you confront the hardwiring of your brain—e.g., exercise is “too boring,” “too daunting,” “I never have the time,” “I’ll deal with it tomorrow!”—you won’t be able to rewire your brain with more empowering and motivational thoughts. You’re fighting an uphill battle against thoughts that reject the very behavior you want to adopt.

But whatever your negative hard-wiring, the process below will help you rewire your brain to support your New Year’s goals:

Let’s use the example of “It’s too boring to exercise.” “Boredom” is not a truth but simply an attitude that has been hardwired into the brain. It is the emotional and physical state of zero-energy. In boredom, you tend to focus on what isn’t, not on what could be.

Four easy steps for rewiring the brain that take just seconds to do:

1) Acknowledge your brain is hardwired with the state of boredom.

2) Experience the physiology of boredom in your body—e.g., low energy, low motivation, body has no energy and doesn’t want to lift a finger to do anything.

3) Restore your energy by breathing into the sensation of boredom. Breathing is the quickest way to build energy.

4) Focus your attention on the areas of your body with no energy—brain, torso, legs—and as you inhale and exhale imagine your breath going in and out of these areas. You will immediately feel more energy.

Visualize your brain cells laying down a new pathway for new energized and motivated thinking. Cleanse the old negative thought (e.g., “Exercise bores me to tears!”) from the brain in the moment it arises by acknowledging it and breathing it out of your physiology. Visualize this old thought being cleansed from your brain as a new thought (e.g., “As soon as I move, my body will feel nurtured and energized.”) creates a new neuropathway.

Great! So you were able to get off the couch for on exercise session. But how will you sustain your new exercise program?

Acknowledge it will be difficult and there will be relapses: you may slip back into boredom, you may begin to doubt that you can sustain it, you may go back to your thinking that “the process will take forever so why try.” But who cares if you have to start over again? Several “first” days of your exercise program still equal several days of exercise!

Remember the Bill Murray movie, What About Bob? Baby-steps are the answer. It may take a year to program this new behavior into your brain so that it becomes your default behavior. So don’t get discouraged!

Keep a clear image of “what will be” – how great you will feel and look; how much energy and strength you’ll have and what new, exciting activities you’ll be able to do.

Eat & Drink: you need to eat to have the energy to exercise and drink tons of water to hydrate your body if your exercise program is vigorous. When you are thirsty your body is already 75% dehydrated!

Keep yourself encouraged by doing fun things for yourself. Whenever you do something for someone else, do one thing for yourself.

To feel a sense of accomplishment remind yourself: “I am doing it and I am on the path to do more of it!”

Many of us need help to accomplish our goals. There is nothing wrong and everything right with:
Reaching out to a buddy to whine and complain, and receive support.

Hiring a personal trainer (or mentor for whatever you are trying to accomplish): My mom (80 years old in 2008) only works out because she loves laughing about how much she “hates” working out with her personal trainer!

Connecting with your higher power and reaching out for help to sustain you in those times of darkness.

I leave you with a few thoughts from America’s first psychologist:

"Of all the creatures of earth, only human beings can change their patterns. Man alone is the architect of his destiny…Human beings, by changing the inner attitudes of their minds, can change the outer aspects of their lives.” –William James

Wishing you focus, fitness and flexibility in body and mind!

Adrianne Ahern, Ph.D.
Performance Consultant, Keynote Speaker, and author of Snap Out Of It Now!
P.S. If you find value in this blog and wish to share it with others, please do so!

Dear Friends,

I received my holiday gift early this year—I spoke at the Massachusetts Conference for Women along with Anna Quindlen, Rene Syler, Suzy and Jack Welch. Then I headed to NYC to do a segment on Better TV, offering tips to resolve issues that arise during the holidays. Now, I join my family in La Jolla, California, where I will personally encounter the same holiday issues – and intend to follow the advice I’ve given others! I anticipate that this year’s holidays will be better than last; as I know I’ve become wiser, more forgiving, more loving and kind to myself.
“Home for the holidays” is not always a pleasant thought. The people from our gene pool may be the very ones who drive us most crazy: the aunt who is determined to tell you how to run your life, the cousin who tells offensive jokes, the kid brother who specializes in one-ups-manship. Not all of us look like The Waltons at the holiday table. Some families come to verbal blows well before the first slice of turkey or roast is carved.

It makes sense that the people you’ve known all your life are really good at pushing your buttons. Most of us revert to our childhood, less-evolved selves within minutes of being with family. But being with family is what holidays are all about. Are we stuck with two choices: 1) show up and be miserable or 2) hide out and avoid family gatherings altogether? No! There are techniques to deal with ugly family interactions in the moment they’re happening. The trick is to pre-train yourself and be prepared.

The following technique will work in moments of stress or to obliterate old, self-destructive patterns. The ways we deal with family has definitely been hard-wired into our brains over the years. The good news is that you can re-wire it.

Use your IMAGINATION… Visualize your brain cells laying down a new pathway for a new empowering thought. Cleanse the old negative thought (e.g., “My family is always critical of me and my lifestyle.”) from the brain in the moment it arises by acknowledging it and breathing it out of your physiology. Visualize this old thought being cleansed from your brain as a new thought (e.g., “My family loves me and I am terrific just as I am.”) creates a new neuropathway. You are rewiring your brain so that you can experience and enjoy the holidays.

We all tend to focus on what’s wrong when we come up against holiday headaches – let’s experiment this year by focusing on what we love about the holidays and what we love about our family. With this positive focus, we can wire this positive thought/attitude into our brains, truly creating a holiday filled with peace, love, and joy (making the cliché into a reality!).
My wish for you is that the holiday season and year ahead brings you joy, adventure, and fulfillment. My wish for myself is that there will be tons of snow in Tahoe in the New Year, allowing me to ski to my heart’s content!

Wishing you focus, fitness, & flexibility in body and mind,

Adrianne Ahern, Ph.D.
Performance Consultant, Keynote Speaker, and author of Snap Out Of It Now!
P.S. If you find value in this newsletter and wish to share it with others, please do so!

Dear Friends,

Like the fires, will Post Traumatic Stress Disorder rage through Southern California?
My friends Renee and Mary Jo were evacuated from their home in Del Dios, the community adjacent to Lake Hodges in Escondido, CA. I spoke with Renee every day, listening to the daily progression of the fires. Renee was one of the lucky ones: not only was she able to spend the week in a familiar place—her art studio in Escondido—but at the end of the week, she and Mary Jo were able to return to their home, the only home still standing on their block.

On Sunday (10/28) I drove out from the coast to see them. The drive out to Del Dios was spooky and frightening—blackness everywhere, with ashes filling the air. When I arrived, I could see that the fire had come right up to both sides of their house, and all the homes surrounding them had burned to the ground. Renee and Mary Jo were so relieved to be home. Yet, at the same time, feeling survivor’s guilt as they watched their friends and neighbors sifting through the soot and ash, searching for pieces and fragments of their belongings.

Renee had offered up her home as a sort of “base camp” for the neighborhood, so I met several of their neighbors. I was struck by the cheerfulness, kindness, and caring that filled the atmosphere. One of the fire victims said, “I’m finding that I just need to talk about my experiences of the week over and over again. And because I know that all my friends have experienced the same trauma, I’ve already made a call to my EAP to get a referral for a therapist.” Her sense of humor was still intact as she said, “They (the therapists) have to listen to me—it’s what they do!” What I loved about this statement is this person’s awareness that she needs help in order to heal – and she is asking for the help she needs.

Post traumatic stress syndrome (PTSD) is a conditioned reaction that can’t simply be flipped off like a light switch. We’ve all heard it said, “Time heals.” But NOT in these circumstances. The signs of pre-PTSD are anxiousness, feelings of helplessness and hopelessness. When we are presented with major trauma—like a fire threatening to destroy our home—these symptoms are magnified. Without help, these reactions become hardwired into the brain and nervous system. They become chronic—they are with us every moment of the day. Anxiousness can quickly become panic, and irritability can turn into violent outbursts.

If we do nothing with these feelings and reactions, they become the ‘normal’ way we respond to the situations of life. However, to stop PTSD in its tracks, we can manage the crisis in the moment and retrain our brains to a state of present moment focus. We can fend off a potential severe emotional disorder using the same focus used to achieve peak performance.

At the first signs of stress and anxiety:

ACKNOWLEDGE what are you feeling right now—even if what you’re feeling is loss over the things that made up your life—your house & the things inside it. If you don’t allow yourself the experience of these natural feelings of ‘loss,’ they’ll be compounded by feelings of guilt. Acknowledge what you’re feeling, and experience the feeling.

Many of us are conditioned to avoid or deny our feelings, or those of our loved ones, especially when these feelings are painful. Each time the painful feeling arises, we distance ourselves from it by reacting to something outward. These outbursts or reactions become hardwired into our system. Before we know it, we are reacting to even minor events or situations with panic attacks or numbness or violent outbursts — and we don’t know how to break the cycle. The secret to stopping PTSD in its tracks is to learn to acknowledge these feelings as they arise and experience them within the body.

IDENTIFY how you are reacting—are you irritable with your partner or child; are you edgy at work or having difficulty making decisions; are you having trouble sleeping or waking up with nightmares; are you reaching for too much alcohol or compulsively overeating? What is your reaction that is being triggered by your feelings?

BREATHE. Take a LONG SLOW & DEEP BREATH—Breathing clears the mind, releases tension and anxiety from the body. Your awareness is brought back to the moment. You are taking back the power from your automatic reactions and becoming aware of the experience of choice in the moment.

ACTIVATE A POSITIVE FEELING such as compassion, appreciation, or caring. Research studying the difference between the experience of anger vs. compassion indicates that you are healing yourself mentally, emotionally, and physically by activating a positive feeling such as compassion or caring. When we shift away from the feeling of fear or anxiety about the future to compassion and appreciation for what is in this moment, we are healing ourselves. With this shift in our emotion, we are now able to change the way we perceive what is happening right now. From disaster and loss to the possibilities that may be present within this moment. This is how we move forward—one moment at a time. By looking at life in small bite size pieces, we become capable and competent of handling whatever comes our way.

Ask yourself, “What is the most important thing for me right now?” In this state of calm and centeredness, the answer will come from your heart. Maybe you decide you want to offer help to someone in need, or maybe you decide you want to ask for help for yourself. Act on it—as you act on what is most important and congruent for you in the moment, you are retraining your brain and nervous system to respond in a calmer and more congruent manner.In this way, and with practice, you are re-setting your nervous system and therefore are less susceptible to the onset of PTSD and the problems associated with PTSD. There is hope—you can, with help, overcome your reactions to the stressors in your life and thus stop PTSD in its tracks. The earlier you begin to acknowledge how you feel following or during a crisis or traumatic event, the more capable you are to lessen the effects of the trauma on your nervous system.

Wishing you focus, fitness, & flexibility in body and mind,

Adrianne Ahern, Ph.D.
Performance Consultant, Keynote Speaker, and author of Snap Out Of It Now!
P.S. If you find value in this blog and wish to share it with others, please do so!

Dear Friends,

Some of you may have noticed that I took a sabbatical from writing this blog. (Others of you are saying, “Huh? She did?”) I did so because I was betwixt and between. My life was evolving a little faster than my ability to assimilate it. I found it hard to communicate from this nether zone. I was (am) not yet who I am to become—yet certainly not who I was.

Can you relate?

When we stay comfy-cozy in the “noun” of who we are, we are very clear about what story to tell. We are glib about our goals and aspirations. We can rate our accomplishments. We understand how our relationships fit into the scheme of it all.

But when we are in the “verb” of evolving, it’s not so clear. We feel the itch of new beginnings and the tug of past roles and desires. In my own case, I felt myself moving from author/clinician to speaker/trainer. “But what happens to my clients?! How can I continue my research? I don’t know how to speak to huge audiences! What if. . .? What about. . .? How can. . .? Can it possibly. . .?”

Do you remember that old Indiana Jones movie where our hero had to trust and step onto an invisible surface over a bottomless chasm? He intuitively knew that the invisible surface would support him. But all of his other senses screamed for survival. “Stay back!” they hollered. “You don’t know what will happen if you take that next step!”

Whether that next step for you is a life or death moment or merely a stretch in your comfort zone, how to cope? I offer you the process I am using during my own “not-terrifying-but-certainly-unnerving” evolution:

Acknowledge the unknowing—the feelings of fear, panic, disorientation, uncertainty
Focus on your heart center. Shift your focus to your heart center. Place your hand over this area of your body to facilitate your ability to fully attend to your heart center. As you do this, you are connecting with yourself and centering yourself in the moment.
Breathe with your heart. Imagine that, as you inhale and exhale, your breath is going in and out through your heart center.
Activate a positive feeling. Recall a positive experience that stimulates a feeling of caring, appreciation, joy, or gratitude, and breathe with attention to this feeling.
Listen – and trust the message. When you attune to your heart center, your broader wisdom comes to the fore. Trust it. Relax in it. Allow it to guide you.

(Some of you may recognize a few of these steps; one of the things I have done on my sabbatical is to spend some time in Boulder Creek, CA becoming a HeartMath Provider.)

Wishing you focus, fitness, & flexibility in body and mind,

Adrianne Ahern, Ph.D.
Performance Consultant, Keynote Speaker, and author of Snap Out Of It Now!
P.S. If you find value in this blog and wish to share it with others, please do so!

Strengthening Your Self Esteem

Women have come a long way over the past several decades: more parity in salaries, more options in career, more freedom in lifestyle choices. But how far have we come in our underlying self-esteem?

It’s amazing that so many of us still have areas in which we feel inadequate, maybe even powerless. We can be CEO’s, doctors, US Senators – but we still might cringe at trying (and being initially klutzy at) a new sport, showing our imperfect legs in shorts, or asking for a long-overdue raise. We can negotiate fiercely in the Board room – but put up with lousy haircuts for months before we get up the nerve to “fire” our hairdresser. We sit “small” in our airplane seats, not wanting to take up too much space.

Self-esteem is not the same as assertiveness. Assertiveness is a behavior; self-esteem is the underlying feeling of worthiness, value, even self-love. Many of us in business or sports or other competitive arenas have learned to be assertive – but as a survival mechanism, not necessarily from an underlying sense of healthy self-esteem.

That gap between how we are acting – assertively – and how we are feeling – undeserving or unworthy – causes an internal tension, a feeling of incongruence, and definitely less effectiveness in our performance and in our lives. By trying to “fake it until we make it,” we set ourselves up to never make it at all!

And though our lack of self-esteem as women may be rooted in past signals from our family, underlying messages in our culture, etc, etc, etc – the power to improve our self image is in the present moment. Past conditioning can be corrected by re-conditioning in the present.
How can we do this? The first steps are awareness and acknowledgement. Do you feel like you are “in the way” on the golf course? Do you feel timid telling your doctor that you want a second opinion? Or when you do gird yourself up to confront a situation at the office, does it take an incredible toll on your body and emotions?

Once you’ve identified the areas where your self-esteem is lagging, try this practice:
With eyes closed, sit quietly and bring to mind the situation where you’ve felt unworthy.
Allow yourself to feel into the picture in your mind. How does it feel in your body? Where exactly is the feeling located in your body?

After a few minutes, turn your attention to your breathing, your deep inhales and complete exhales.

As you allow your body to relax into your breathing, imagine yourself in that same situation but as a new, truly self-confidant and empowered you.

Sit with this new picture of yourself for a few minutes, breathing deeply.

While doing this practice, if your new picture is not perfect, don’t despair! You will have already caused a shift in your sense of self simply by acknowledging and breathing through your old discomfort. Play with the technique, and you’ll notice how much more vibrant the self-confidant images of yourself become – and how powerfully this simple practice will impact your life!

With an open heart,

Adrianne Ahern, Ph.D.
Performance Consultant, Keynote Speaker, and author of Snap Out Of It Now!
P.S. Self-esteem issues affect everyone. These steps can be used by men, too!
See Dr. Adrianne in Action!
Dr. A has appeared on numerous television and radio programs providing insight, tips, and advice on how to become a peak performer. Click here to view media appearances and see Dr. A in action!
Pass it on…
Just about everyone could use some work on one or two areas of their lives. You can support your friends and family in becoming the very best they can be by forwarding this eNewsletter and introducing them to ways to strengthen their self-esteem. And if you are serious about improving your confidence and becoming a peak performer, let Dr. A show you how to get off the treadmill of mental mediocrity in her newly released book, Snap Out of it NOW!
GREAT NEWS!
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