Though many of us yearn for positive change and transformation, our conscious or unconscious conditioned beliefs may tell us that we really do not have the ability to become substantially different or better than who we have been.  Do any of these statements ring true to you?

• You can't teach an old dog new tricks 
• This is just the way life is; we have to accept it
• You have to be born in the right place at the right time to make it
• You have to get the breaks and the right circumstances to be successful
• You can't have it all.  Getting by is good enough
• Most of us just aren't cut out for greatness

Some of us firmly believe these statements to be true.  Others claim that they believe in unlimited human potential.  But when it gets right down to it, almost all of us honestly experience life in terms of one or more of the limiting statements above. 

Human potential is the hope, but life's limitations feel like the reality.

You may not ever say these statements out loud. You may even argue against them, using the positive self-talk of recent decades. But take a moment: In your heart of hearts, do any of those statements seem like the whole truth and nothing but the truth? Deep down, do you trust these "reality" statements more than the possibility of transformation? If so, these beliefs have been hardwired into your brain and will sabotage any personal growth program you begin--and probably have done so in the past.

I am not asking you to just believe and trust in the possibility of your own transformation.  Those limiting "reality" statements, like all conditioning, are hardwired in and need to be unplugged and rewired to release their power. ...  I'll show you how to do this in future chapters....

(Above is an excerpt from the fist chapter of, "Back in Charge!")

"Anyone can become angry--that is easy.  But to be angry with the right person, to the right degree, and at the right time, and for the right purpose, and in the right way--that is not easy."  -- Aristotle

My friend and colleague, Dr. George Pratt, writes in his book, "Instant Emotional Healing" (Broadway Books, 2000) that there are "no bad emotions."  (I really recommend you pick this book up on Amazon.)

I quote directly from the book: "There is no such thing as a wrong emotion, only the wrong amount of the emotion at the wrong time. ... Even emotions we tend to think of as "negative" serve natural and useful regulating roles in our overall functioning: Frustration, impatience, disgust, and anger can spur us into productive action.  Anxiety and irritability let us know when we've been pushing too hard and can remind us to slow down and relax.  Loneliness can lead us to a deeper understanding of ourselves.  Grief helps us heal from loss.  Guilt keeps us honest. ..."

I really like the way George and his co-author Peter Lambrou guide the reader toward heightened levels of self-awareness, assisting him/her in seeing that when they are aware of the "negativity" within, they instantly have the power to use it to their benefit.  And, if the negative emotion is no longer serving them, he shows the reader how to release it from their system entirely!

Train your brain to support optimal health, success, and well-being! 

In my KPBS-TV special, "Snap Out Of It NOW!," airing Saturday, August 8 (that's tomorrow night!) at 7 p.m., I will show you how to rewire your brain to meet and conquer life’s challenges.  

Be sure to watch and call in (Toll-free: (888) 399-5727) or go online and make a pledge to support KPBS-TV.  Please remember to reference my show, "Snap Out Of It NOW!"

Just minutes away from my Blog Talk radio interview with my friend, Jordan Mercedes!  Check it out and take some time to listen.

Host Name:     Thrive In Balance    
Show Name: Time Out Before Burn Out with Dr.Adrianne Ahern

Length: 45 min
Description:  Are you addicted to going fast, never slowing down and working to the point of burn out? If so you'll want to tune in to hear Dr.Ahern help us to take time out before burn out and learn how to slow down to revive, rejuvenate and avoid the dangerous work burn out crash.

I’m preparing for a keynote I’ll be giving next week at a business luncheon in La Jolla and thought you all might enjoy this little awareness test. 

In my talks I show the audience some of the ways our brain works and how it – not circumstance -- controls our outcomes. Many of you have been doing all you can think of to keep your businesses going, increase income, encourage your employees and/or families, etc. But even if you are "doing all the right things," you may not be getting results. Let me show you why.
Here's a video about perception and awareness:

How many of you saw the moon-walking bear the first time through?

So how does that relate to us right now? If you’re conditioned to focus on how bad the economy is, how many businesses have closed in your industry, how many other people have lost money…well, that's what you are going to see. Your brain will not let you see the moon-walking bear or that unusual opportunity or that potential opening in your field. But if you re-wire your brain, your internal authority to start looking for the moon-walking bear, your brain will let you see it. 

You can consciously re-wire your brain so that your conditioned beliefs and attitudes support you, embrace positive change, help you feel empowered in challenging times.  And when we feel empowered? We come up with brilliant ideas, effective strategies, innovative solutions.

So how do we get there?   There are four basic steps to the process -- you can read about them and start the process with getting, “Back in Charge!”

Uncover the beliefs that are holding you back!


Here's an exercise from my new book, "Back In Charge!," to help you start releasing that negative self-talk!

Begin to identify the conditioned beliefs, the specific hardwiring, that has been blocking your efforts to reach your goals and desires.  For example, some conditioned beliefs you may have about career and finances may sound something like, “I’m not smart enough to start my own business” or “This is the only career I’ll ever be good at” or “I’ve never been good with numbers.” As long as these limiting beliefs remain unconscious, they maintain the power to sabotage your efforts. Once they are brought to light of day, you can work with them using processes outlined in the chapters of “Back in Charge!”

Begin by listing goals and desires that you have and for each goal or desire, write about the efforts you have made in the past to achieve them and the results of those efforts.

Next, list all the limiting beliefs you have about each goal. Remember that your limiting beliefs may sound very true to you: “I can't find a relationship because all the good men are taken.” “I can't start that career because I’m too old.”

If you can't identify what the limiting belief says, how does it feel? To get to that feeling, imagine taking action toward your goal or remember actions you’ve taken in the past. Did staying on a diet feel difficult? Discouraging? As if you were depriving yourself of pleasure? Note those feelings. Often as you experience those feelings, the negative belief associated with them will surface. Once you can acknowledge the limiting belief, you are taking back control and getting back in charge of your life!

Through this exercise, you are beginning to identify the limiting beliefs that your brain is working as hard as it can to support!

An exercise my clients find very helpful (use it myself, too!):

THE OBNOXIOUS QUESTION

Sometimes it's hard to stick to The Facts. Period. Especially in challenging times like these, circumstances seem to justify our reactions, our panic, anxiety, or anger – RIGHT?
The point is not whether your reaction is right or wrong, justified or not. The point is:
Does it really serve you?
Does it get you where you want to go?
Does it help you find solutions or feel good?
Does it really serve you?

I call this question obnoxious because when you're in the throes of a really delicious, impassioned, righteous ranting and raving session, it's very annoying to have someone stop you and ask it! Trust me, I know. Especially when you've got an airtight, provable case and you're certain that any court in the land would agree with you! You've been wronged and have dozens of juicy details to add to the story and your friends all support your position and . . .

BUT WAIT: … Does your response really serve you?
Is it helping you create the life you desire?
Is your worry and panic helping you find solutions to your business situation?
Is your righteous anger helping you figure out a new income stream? Is your frustration getting the work done? Probably not.

One of the most important aspects of freeing ourselves from negative conditioned reactions is making the decision to do so. Because the truth is that we have choice about how we respond to every situation. It doesn't matter whether our response is "justified" or not. The only question to ask is: Does this response truly serve me and my purpose? And once you've honestly answered that question, it is totally up to you whether you choose to hang on to the reaction or release it. Your choice. Always.

You Don’t Have to Change Who You Are to Make Your Life Dream a Reality

Expanding your horizons, exploring new interests and hobbies, and meeting new people are all great ways to grow, as long as you’re doing these things because you truly want to, not because you think you need to.

Change can be good, but there are some things you really can’t change. I think Popeye was really on to something when he quipped, “I am what I am.” He’s right. Being who you are is what you are naturally best at. Trying to be someone you’re not can be an exercise in frustration and disappointment.

Think about how you interact with your environment, with people, with your job, and with yourself. Don’t try to create a scenario of your perfect dream self.

For example, let’s say Betty goes on a hike and finds herself consumed by thoughts in her head. She seeks to change her behavior by joining the Sierra Club with the hope that she will become a more attentive hiker and learn from fellow hikers how to appreciate nature more fully. When she completes a hike with her new group, Betty complains that the folks in the club are boring. They take too long to discuss one shrub or are just not her kind of people. The hikes take too long, and she doesn’t feel that she’s getting enough targeted exercise.

My point is, you can try to change your life and change how you experience your life, but trying to be different from who you are will not override your conditioning. You can’t just decide that you will begin to enjoy nature walks and listen to discussions of a rare bush when you get pleasure from going to the local gym for aerobics and are conditioned to exercise as a means to an end.

Work with what you’ve got; work with your conditioned thoughts and attitudes to make your life better for you. Don’t try to change yourself into someone you’re not—it will never work! I have always loved this quote: “Be yourself; everyone else is taken!”

Staying Strong—Staying Connected

Develop and maintain a strong connection with your intention and your dream for life. If you don’t have a clear picture of how you want to live and with whom, where you want to live, and what you intend to achieve, then you will never live it.

Ask yourself these questions:

What do I see as my unique gift?
How am I using my creativity, talent, and gift?
What are my core values?
Am I living in alignment with my core values?
Am I living the life I want to be living?
What am I doing when I feel the most inner joy?
What do I feel enthusiastic about

?

Write out your answers to these questions, and allow your Vision for your life to surface. Focusing on the “what” and not on the “how” will allow your Vision take hold. As you do this, experience yourself claiming what you want for yourself—feel yourself lighting the fire of insatiable desire for the life you are creating!

With an open heart,

Adrianne Ahern, Ph.D.
Performance Consultant, Keynote Speaker, and author of Snap Out Of It Now!
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